Family is Everything

It's true. There were many wonderful moments of 'family' on our Mcfayden Family Reunion Weekend in Nestor Falls. I will share only a few ...




MOMENTS: Children Caring for Children

Generally, the older great-grandchildren (Connor, Liam, Cameron, Logan and Paige) were running all over the place playing together while Tavish and Warren stayed closer to the adults. Although the child to child interaction with these two 'babies' was wonderful. When Logan arrived (the first other 'child' to arrive), Tavish toddled over, looked up at him and smiled. He just stood there, staring and eager to be involved in anything Logan had going on. It was followed up on our last night in town over dinner, where Logan hugged Tavish (smile) and they played together. Cute cousins. On the weekend, Tavish was sitting on my lap when Cameron came into the room and Tavish reached out for a hug. When I told Cameron he wanted to go to him, Cameron said "okay". I helped Cameron hold Tavish for a hug ... Cameron said "wow, he's heavy". The ended up sharing a chair for awhile and Cameron read Tavish a story. When Tavish looked up at Cameron while he was listening to the story, he spotted Cameron's hat and patted his head (hat). I translated: "that means hat". Cameron stopped reading when he heard that "oh, here you go" he said and plopped his hat onto Tavish's head. Tavish was elated. It was cute. When Cameron left he said "bye Tavish, I'm going to go and play with my other friends now". Aw. The adoration for younger children continued - Tavish was entranced by Warren. "Bay-bee". Tavish was always looking for a way to hug Warren when someone he knew was holding him. He was gentle and always patted the baby lightly on the back (or the arm of the person holding Warren, it turns out). He also stood at the side of the playpen when Warren was sleeping and would whisper "bay-bee, shhh". It's great to see all of these children being gentle with one another and enjoying being a family.

MOMENT: Shy Guy

I learned something about our little guy: he's friendly and responsive, but not always immediately and never when picked up prematurely by a 'stranger'. Huh, guess there aren't a lot of people who pick him up other than us usuals. So, when we passed through Nestor Falls on our way in from Winnipeg, he was overtly uninterested in going to anyone other than Grandma, Grandpa or Mommy. No Auntie Katy. No Uncle Merle. This was more obvious with more people over the weekend. There was no way he was going to sit quietly in the arms of anyone beyone the three of us. As the weekend progressed, Tavish extended his list of acceptable people to be picked up by. Uncle Murry had worked his way onto the list as had Auntie Katy, maybe others too. I love our family and how it keeps growing; it was wonderful for me to have my son among my extended family. After years of watching the other great grandchildren grow up at these functions, it was touching to see my son included in it. It had that: 'it takes a whole village to raise a child' feel to it. I didn't worry when he was out of my site, I knew he was okay. Everyone has their eye out for everyone, especially the children. It was wonderful. I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with a longing for my Grandma to be there with us. She would have loved every moment of it. I miss her, but it feels so good to know that she met Tavish and that her unconditional love lingers on through her family. A family that all cared enough to come together simply for the purpose of being together. Tom, Tavish and I are so fortunate to be surrounded by family on both sides and it is nice to see Tavish become less shy with family as time goes on.

Moose Madness

The excitement and wonder of all animals commonly found in Northwestern Ontario, and less frequently stumbled across living in downtown Ottawa, continued over the McFayden family reunion weekend in Nestor Falls at Uncle Merle and Auntie Katy's.



MOMENT: Me and the Moose

On our drive 'home' from Winnipeg, we stopped in for a quick visit with Uncle Merle and Auntie Katy. This is where Tavish groggily exited the van, only to spot a moose straight ahead. Okay, so it wasn't a 'real' moose - but it sure had the appeal of one. Tavish marched past everyone and over to the moose to point emphatically. "Would you like to sit on the moose, Tavish?" (insert, hand nod (yes) with a smiling "uh-uh-uh"). He loved that thing. Very cute. When we returned for our weekend, he was in moose heaven. Literally. My Aunt and Uncle have a collection of moose all over their place. There are at least 5 moose statues that Uncle Merle built that are visible from the highway in addition to the seemingly endless moose in their home: carved, stuffed, painted - you name it. There were a few that stood out for Tavish though: the stuffed moosed that was pushed around by Tavish in a mini-stroller, a cartoon statue that he often took pause to sit next to and pat, and - of course, the love-at-first-site moose that he could view from the inside. If only seeing a living moose was as easy to spot by looking out a window or going on a short boat ride like the loons were. Sigh. Guess we'll have to come back to these parts and take the little man out for a walk in the woods ... hopefully we can convince people to do that with him without a gun! haha.

Looney at the Lake

I have so many fond memories of summers spent on Footprint Lake. It is such a pleasure to see Tavish discovering so much of the beauty and fun that this magical place has to offer. Now I have even more fond memories here that include Tavish's childhood ...



MOMENTS: Birds of a Feather


Tavish is sticking together with the loons. Any loon, albeit the majority were in photo form. He discovered the coffee table book pictured above and truly enjoyed looking at every page. Every page. It was fun and only got better when Grandma said "Tavish, did you hear that? It was a loon!". Very cool. There he was with his nosed pressed to the formerly clean window watching the small family of loons swimming in the bay. Recognizing this new affection, we were sure to point out all loons when we were out in the boat. He watched with such interest and admiration. My little loon lover, I'm so glad that I brought him up here to discover some northwestern Ontario beauty.

Unfulfilled Expectations

Well, Tavish and I are on our journey 'home' for 10 days ... but it's not that straight-forward, of course. Our trip is all about being mobile and 'sleeping' around. We will never be in the same place for more than 3 nights. Here's the plan: 2 nights in Winnipeg, 3 nights at the cabin, 1 night in Nestor Falls, 3 nights in Fort Frances, 1 night in Winnipeg. GULP! After our sleepless nights in Maine (a yawn escaped me just typing/thinking about it), I was a bit anxious about this 'plan', especially since it would be Tom-less. Eeks. I had visions of screaming, increased nursing, bags under my eyes, desperate bed-sharing for hoped silence, and complete exhaustion for all. However, I'm pleased to report that after night #3, Tavish has far exceeded, surpassed and dismissed my expectations. Yay! (If you're reading this, please, please, please knock on wood right now ... seriously, I'm begging you.)

Here are a few "moments" from our trip so far ...


MOMENT: Assigned Seats

It has always been a treat to fly with Tavish, this time was no different. Again, I don't know why I found myself being a bit apprehensive about it - he has 'changed' in that he is older and more developed in his abilities, but he is the same kid. Anyway, he LOVED the airport in a whole new way. Planes out the windows = "oooooo", luggage vehicles driving around on the tarmac = "uh! uh! uh!" supported my emphatic pointing, and any other large vehicle = "vroom, vroom" as has become a standard. He thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of it and was glued to the window of the airport, then the window of the airplane - taking in every detail of everything he saw, and seemingly the details of the information I contributed. Across the aisle from us was a family with a 22 month old. The poor little one did not seem nearly as excited about the experience. To summarize, there was a lot of unhappy 'sounds' from her for a long, long time. Tavish kept pointing over at her saying "bay-beee" and looking quite concerned. (aw) A young, single lady took the aisle seat in our short row. Poor girl. She glanced over at us with trepidation as she clearly tries to resist the 'flight' response to this scene and deplaning before it was too late. Mercifully (for her especially), the expectation exceeding started early on this trip. She was endlessly intrigued by his sign-language skills and became quite enamoured with Tavish by the time we landed. I think that, in the end, Tavish was successful in doing his part to keep the Canadian birth rate up as I am convinced that the 'poor' lady deplaned in Winnipeg being, at the very least, on the fence about swearing off children for good!

MOMENT: "Are we there yet"

Okay, it's true that this sentiment was uttered and wondered repeatedly on our drive from Winnipeg to the cabin, but not by Tavish. No, he was a treat. It was his all-of-a-sudden-impatient Mommy that moaned and groaned about the distance ... it was like I hadn't done this drive a bazillion times before, sheesh. Tavish quickly fell into a slumber when he got into the van (I felt compelled to follow suit) and was pleasantly self-entertained for over an hour when he woke up. When I opened my eyes (in the front seat), my Dad silently informed me that he was awake. I looked back to find that his traveling partner however, was not - Grandma was napping. I guess this encouraged Tavish to play quietly? (aw) Even after Mom awoke and was reading, Tavish continued to entertain himself quietly. It wasn't until we passed a huge motorhome that he made a sound: "bu-bye vroom-vroom" over and over again. Then, he and Grandma had a grand ol' time back there with laughter, giggles and all sorts of signs ("Kath, what does {insert sign description} mean?"). Very fun. He made it until about 5 minutes away from Merle and Katy's before he indicated that he'd had enough. I'd been antsy since I awoke ... I guess I should have set lower expectations for traveling with Mommy.

Hugs

We've seen many actions from Tavish that we think (read: hope) indicate some positive personality attributes ...

Graceful:

crawling perfected within hours of trying; climbing stairs with poise on the first day he pulled himself to stand; making his way downstairs smoothly after encouraging the 'backwards' thing a hand-full of times; walking with little signs of 'toddling'

Gentle:

we have never seen him actually touch another child - he points at them within close range, but never actually touches; pets any animal he gets close to very softly; often pats my back when I'm carrying him somewhere and he's resting on my shoulder

Funny:

he laughed and laughed when he fed me puffs and I finally said "no thank you" a few times (he persisted), then I gently pushed the puff away and made the sounds he does when he's finished with the food we're feeing him ... he thought it was hilarious that I was imitating him; has been known to play peak-a-boo ... okay, all kids do it - but we think it qualifies as humour ...

This blog entry is about another trait to add to the list: Affectionate

MOMENTS: Hugs All Around

Tavish has a live-in buddy that he scans the livingroom for as he makes his way down the stairs in the morning. His name is Chomper. He is a Cabbage Patch kid. I know what you're thinking: is this 1980? No, it's not ... but Chomper was certainly born in the 1980s and given his name by a boy who was quite young in the 1980s - Tom. I'm confident that Chomper's birth certificate did not issue him the name "Chomper". Tom insists otherwise. Anyway, Chomper is a friend of Tavish's now and it is very sweet. We have spotted Tavish sitting in the livingroom with Chomper giving him kisses, reading him a story, hugging him, pushing him around perched on the walker, carrying him around by the hair - you know showing him general affection in the best way a baby knows how. Oh, he will also give the high-5s and a wave too, but those are usually initiated by Chomper. Today was no different, except that I caught a bit of it on film ... now it's not in its purest form as there may have been some prompting: "Tavish, where's Chomper?", "Hi Chomper?", "Want to give Chomper a hug?", but despite this particular case of encouragement, the affection is pure and mostly given without request.

Another wonderfully unprompted show of affection was between Tavish and one of his closest buddies, Darius. It was shortly after we returned from Maine that Andrea and Darius dropped over while Tavish was napping. When Tavish awoke to join us, I put him on the floor and he stood then took a step or two. Maybe it was the excitement of seeing him walk, or simply the fact that they hadn't seen each other in a little while, but Darius walked over to Tavish and reached out to him. Andrea was right behind him to ensure there was no hitting, poking or any other baby actions of affection-gone-wrong, but Darius stepped closer and these two little buddies embraced. Tavish looked up at me for assurance, then patted Darius' back. The embrace was not fleeting either, it lasted more than a few moments. It was one of the sweetest moments I've witnessed between two children and still draws an 'awww' from my heart when I recall it.

However, what prompted me to write about this today over other days is that the hugs were being given out even more rampantly today ... to things beyond Mommy, Daddy, Darius, and Chomper. As shown in the photo above, his sippycup of water qualified for some hugs today. Huh, guess he was really thirsty ... or is just as affectionate as these actions would indicate?

Rock a "Bye" Baby

SLEEP. It's a parents single biggest concern - or at least is seems to be for the parenting team of Kath and Tom. It comes with fear (what happens if they NEVER sleep?!?), excitement (whoa, he's still sleeping?!?!), anxiety (what happens if he wakes up AGAIN?!?), irritation (why won't he just go to sleep already?!?) and then there's the odd time of pleasure ...

MOMENT: Splash, rub, read, sing, hug, "bye"

It's been a long, 16 month journey of seeking sleep. Specifically Tavish's sleep, but therefore ours as well. The first 5 months of Tavish's life he was literally tied up (swaddled) for the sake of sleep. He was pretty much the-baby-with-no-arms most of the time with some serious 'shush'ing (or hairdryer-ing ... long story) thrown in for good measure. Although it seems that the sleepy sheep must have finally won (knock on wood ... no, seriously - if you're reading this - knock on wood, please) because things seem quite good now. Until recently, he'd never been put down for a sleep of any sort without some protesting - sometimes lasting a few minutes ... sometimes up to an hour. It's been our dinner music more times than we care to count. Tonight though, tonight was an example of a 'pleasure' time regarding bedtime and sleep. It was just Tavish and I. Tom was tackling the disaster on the deck that was the aftermath of Tavish discovering that he loves rice and beans. Bath time as usual. Teeth brushing (or barely since Tavish does it himself) as usual. Then we got into the bedroom and I reintroduced an old bedtime 'routine' from the early days: massage. When Tavish was born, Fariba (our amazing midwife) encouraged giving him an olive oil massage every day. We did this religiously before bed for months and months, but like many good habits - it was slowly dropped. I've noticed lately how much Tavish enjoys having sunscreen applied to his skin, he's even brought it to me. So, out came the oil. I wasn't confident that he'd be still enough to enjoy it, but as soon as I applied some to his leg, he was still, mesmerized and relaxed. Why did we ever stop doing this?! I enjoyed it, he enjoyed it - it's all around happiness. He was even eager to have his back done so sat up when I offered. Very sweet. After it was diapering and jammie-ing as usual, then books. When I started singing, he snuggled into our hug as usual. I love these moments. Tavish is relaxed, peaceful and affectionate. I decided at the end of my songs to talk quiety with him about our day: What a great day we had together with Daddy. We went for a bike ride then to see Grandpa for lunch with Aunie Michele and Uncle Mark. You played in the water at Grandpas with Harrison and Finn. You had a nice nap when we got home. We went for a walk in the stroller and played outside on the deck before our dinner of rice and beans. What a lovely time together. Tomorrow we'll have more adventures together after a nice sleep. Good night Tavish. I love you very much and look forward to seeing you in the morning. I then hear a quiet "bu-bye". I laid Tavish in his crib and he smiles at me with another quiet "bu-bye" and a kiss (muuu-wah) blown to me. I turned on the music as I left and did not hear a peep. Just like that, our baby sleeps. Helping him to fall asleep this easily truly was a pleasure. Now it's our turn - good night, bu-bye and muuu-wah.

Self-service

In terms of food, the extent of our man's discerning considerations is: mmm, food - sure, I'll eat! Needless to say, we haven't had many struggles with Tavish on the food front so far. This has been extra great because I've been able to make food for him that is nutricious, mostly organic and readily available because I reuse the purchased babyfood jars and fill up the freezer. Handy, well - mostly handy ... until Tavish decides to feed himself.



MOMENT: My turn

Tavish has been self-serving finger food for a very long time (he had the pincer grip mastered early), but the spoon feeding thing didn't garner much interest ... until recently. We always figured that until he requests the spoon, we'd continue to feed him because it is more expedient and the longer he waits, the more dexterity he would have ... or so we hoped.The first real self-serve attempt to spoon feed himself was in Vermont on our way home from Maine - at my friend's place. That's right, not in the comfort of our own home, but rather at a place and time where it wasn't so convenient but oh so cute! He had food everywhere! It was delightful and he was so proud. Fortunately, we were staying with friends who found this new-found independent streak endearing.

Tonight was more of the same, only cuter. We could actually watch the intellectual development before our eyes. He discovered after his first spoon full that tipping the spoon was less-than productive. It was close enough that he may have tasted it - even if it all fell into his handy bib with the scoop. Hmmmm, what to do? Ah yes, first complication averted: just scoop it out of the bib! Success. I was 'helping' by holding the bowl for him until that was impeding his creative freedom. Okay, Mommy stepped aside. Tavish looked at me, looked at his empty spoon then the full bowl ... hmmmm. Then, the ah-ha moment: he picked up the bowl and turned it on it's side and voila - self-service. He worked at it for awhile and although he was technically feeding himself successfully, the arm was eventually raised (help) followed by a finger to his mouth (food) ... we had a pooped self-server! Perhaps all the extra work built up an extra appetite?